Hose off the patio or deck, set up the Hawaiian torches, clean up the
barbecue and stock up on food and drink. Winter’s history and it’s time for a
serious swing-party! Good plan and it makes you want to get down
big-time!
Some of our readers are experienced in hosting a swing-party.
However many are not and they are the target audience for this article. Those of
you who’ve 'been there, done that' might learn something new.
Loren (my
wife) and I have done articles on swinging, but geared to intimate sessions with
just two couples. The focus of this discussion is on a much bigger event. We’ve
been there, done that, and our experience can help you plan and enjoy a great
swing-party at your house.
Yes, folks, it takes advanced planning and a real desire to pull it off.
Good. Loren’s here and she can give us a lot of great information. You should
see the sexy outfit she’s wearing.
LOREN: “Just for you, Dear. What did I
miss?”
TANNER: "Nothing, we’re into planning a great swing-party and
understanding what it takes to make it happen."
LOREN: “Okay, let’s look
at few small things not-to-do.”
TANNER: "Ordering three kegs of beer
before the RSVPs come in would be one of those."
LOREN: “We’ve been that
stupid.”
TANNER: "My point exactly. We also wound up with a week’s worth
of finger-food stuffed in the fridge."
LOREN: “Regarding the matter of
alcohol … be advised: if you provide booze, beer or wine you cannot charge for
it, it must be free. The cops can get you for selling alcohol without a
license.”
TANNER: "There’s the key; you charge a reasonable fee per
couple to cover your expenses (not to include alcohol). Guests bring their own
booze. An acceptable fee is about $30.00 per couple, $15.00 for singles. Loren
will get more into that aspect later."
LOREN: “Right, I will, but a word
about singles should be covered here. Think about it … if you allow single men
to attend your party they can and will out number your other guests. Allowing
single females seems hot, but it usually backfires.”
TANNER: "That
applies to private, home-parties. The commercial Swing-Clubs are another story
and we’re not addressing those here. Why do single females cause a problem at a
private swing-party?"
LOREN: “It all depends on the attitude of the other
females who come to the party with male partners.”
TANNER: "Are we
talking jealous here?"
LOREN: “Yes, but it’s basic really. The couple,
especially, if married, has been together for a while. They have a rhythm, a
feel for each other. Swinging with another couple isn’t a problem. Introduce a
slinky, sexy single-female and sparks may fly.”
TANNER: "That can kill a
swing-party real quick. Okay, single men at the party, what’s your take on
that?"
LOREN: “It’s a little different animal. Every time we’ve placed an
ad to have a swing-party and clearly stated NO SINGLE MEN! We’ve been
overwhelmed with single men wanting to attend the party – can’t they read?”
Loren shakes her head.
TANNER: "That pisses you off, please be
specific."
LOREN: “The mail from the dudes who can’t understand, NO
SINGLE MEN! Seems to indicate they’re above the rule, they’re something special!
They offer security service, a fantastic addition to a threesome. They fail at
both offers and if you allow single men to your private swing-party prepare for
trouble.”
TANNER: Okay, the idea here is to have a nice swing-party in a
private home and have it be successful and pleasant for all involved. There are
guidelines that work and rules to make the party flow smoothly. Let’s sidestep
for a moment and cover a couple of, what I would call professionally organized,
private, swing-parties."
LOREN: “You’re meaning California and
Texas?”
TANNER: "You got it … lay it out for us."
LOREN: “I’ll
start with California, but remember your party doesn’t have to be on such a
level.”
TANNER: "The difference is obvious."
LOREN: “This is in
the area of the top-ten swingers-parties. The setting is a sprawling ranch
complex about twenty-five miles east of San Diego, California. Weekend
swing-parties there are well known in adult circles and you have to be in those
circles to be invited. It’s couples only and the fee is $500.00. That charge
covers all accommodations, food and drink for the entire weekend. You have
access to a pool, sauna, and
complete bar and catered food service for the weekend. All booze is provided
upon request. That was the downfall of the great swingers weekend. The local law
couldn’t get the operators on anything else but selling booze without a
license!”
TANNER: And they shut them down.
LOREN: “Fast – and the
law gained nothing – fines all around and not squat more!”
TANNER: Tell
us about Texas.
LOREN: “Sorry … I just can’t stand the bullshit that
headline-seeking politicians try to dump on us every day."
TANNER:
"Texas, Loren, what can we learn from there?"
LOREN: “We spent three
years there and learned a great deal. I mean Dallas
specifically.”
TANNER: "It was great!"
LOREN: “A friend of ours
has established a rock-solid swinger’s club in his own home. It’s high-end,
organized and very successful. Get this – the charge per couple is $35.00 and
they bring their own booze. There’s a special singles-night for men and women,
usually in the middle of the week. These folks pay half price, bring their own
booze and mix together as they will.”
TANNER: "Okay, back to reality.
What about the novice couple who would like to get a swinger’s party
going?"
LOREN: “Usually a couple has done some swinging or has attended a
swing-club. You should have a good idea about swinging before you decide to open
your home to several couples you don’t know.”
TANNER: "What’s a good way
to get educated in the art of swinging?"
LOREN: “Go to an adult club
that’s well known and observe. If you feel the urge, get involved. Another way
is to get involved with a foursome and see how it goes.”
TANNER: "I think
you’d know if it’s your thing right away."
LOREN: “Exactly. You’ve heard
the phrase; ninety percent of sex is in the mind.”
TANNER: "I thought
that applied to men."
LOREN: “It does, dear. However, some couples get a
hot idea in their heads because they’ve seen pictures or videos of group sex and
or swing-parties. They fantasize about it and build it up in their mind.
Sometimes fantasy should be left at just that.”
TANNER: "You’re scaring
the readers."
LOREN: “I think I’m offering a fair warning. Give the idea
some serious thought before you jump in with both feet.”
TANNER: "Sounds
kinky."
LOREN: “You’re impossible. What I’m saying is; look at the whole
picture. Do you really want six-to-ten couples drinking, smoking, eating and
having sex all over your house?”
TANNER: "Rules, love … you have to have
a set of rules everyone understands before they come to the front
door."
LOREN: “Excellent point and it’s really necessary if you want to have a
great party.”
TANNER: "Tell us from your experience."
LOREN:
“Gladly. Once you’ve decided on having a swing-party, start promoting it at
least a month in advance and avoid Friday night.”
TANNER: "What’s wrong
with Friday night?"
LOREN: “Nothing, I love it, but most couples have
worked all day, it’s already six o’clock, they need some time to wind down.
Considering an 8:00 or 9:00 PM party twenty or more miles away can take the
spark out of it.”
TANNER: "So Friday night is out?"
LOREN: “Not
altogether, but our experience indicates less response for a Friday night
swing-party. In fact, the clubs we’ve attended have cut prices and allowed
singles on Friday nights just to get more people in.”
TANNER: "Two of
them have stopped operating on Friday nights."
LOREN: “There it is, apply
the facts to your own party plans. Don’t try for a Friday night bash, make it
Saturday. And, unless you’re really established as a great swinger’s host, don’t
even consider week-night parties … they fail every time.”
TANNER: "What
about the other rules? We’re running out of space here."
LOREN: “Decide
if you’ll allow smoking, if not, make that clear. If cameras
are going to be allowed, make sure you say so up front. Many swingers don’t want
pictures or video and they will not attend your party. If you do allow photos or
video, respect the wishes of those who decline.”
TANNER: "What else? We
need to move on."
LOREN: “Don’t allow drunkenness, fighting, arguments,
or forced activity of any kind – NO IS NO! That must be respected. Over book –
right, just like the airlines.”
TANNER: "We learned that the hard
way."
LOREN: “We did indeed. Post your party message in as many personal
ad places as you can. Be specific on how many couples you want to attend. Ask
for an E-mail so you can send more information. Your response is where you lay
out the rules, the date and time of the event and any theme you might have in
mind. This is where you request an RSVP and a MUST phone call (give your phone
number in an E-mail only) NOT in the ad you place. If fifteen couples respond
and you can handle only ten – let it go; you’ll only get about five couples to
actually call you to get directions and two of those won’t make it. That’s how
it is, people go on and on about being swingers, but when you get to the bottom
line, they’re full of beans!”
TANNER: "We’re being up front here because
we’ve 'been there, done that'. We don’t mean to put a wet blanket over your
swing-party, just understand what you hope to undertake. As Loren suggested,
themes work, we know that first hand."
LOREN: “Holiday themes are
obvious, make costumes optional (some people won’t go to the trouble). For a
non-holiday bash come up with something kinky and plan on decorating to reflect
the theme.”
TANNER: "Sweetheart, we have to wrap."
LOREN: “I
suggest a month of posting ads before the event. Post to as many personal ad
sites as you can. We know Sexy ADS works. We hosted a fantastic swinger’s-party
last October with a Halloween theme. We followed that with a Thanksgiving theme
and both were a great success.”
TANNER: "The Halloween party was a major
blast. However, the Thanksgiving theme proved to be an absolute turkey
fest."
LOREN: “Funny. There’s a lot more to show and tell in regard to
swing-parties. Plan your party with care and attention to
details.”
TANNER: "Thanks, Loren. I'm sure our readers will be much
better prepared now that we have had this little chat."
Take
care,
Brandon Tanner